It’s the darkest day of the year: Winter solstice. A time for deep thought, reflection and facing our shadows and I want to talk about something that’s been lurking in the dark corners of our collective psyche for quite a while…
In the modern and postmodern world we’re often lulled into the story that the task of breaking down the patriarchal structures in which we have grown up falls to the men. Extreme feminism labels men or „the structures created by men“ as the cause of our oppression, encouraging a hatred of the „unfairer“ sex. Western romanticists talk of premodern „matriarchal“ societies in which women sat in power over peaceful tribal culture although there is no concrete evidence of true matriarchal cultures historically or in the present day; and the potential examples that exist weren’t free from violence.
And here on Leuchtende Kriegerin we find it hard not to slip into excessiveness in raising the feminine and encouraging women to find the goddess in themselves. Yes women rock! Yes having a womb is an awesome experience whether bleeding or opening a portal to life! Yes we are as great as our partners, brothers, fathers, friends of male inclination. But the sacred feminine does not stand over the sacred masculine, and the answer to misbalance between the sexes is not countermisbalance! All this has to change and it’s time we step into our true power and our true response-ability.
Let’s ask a few questions to the classical perception of patriarchy…. Who raised these monstrous men who oppress us? Or does the Y-chromosome hold some kind of immunity to a mother’s influence?
And how could it be that half of the world’s population are so dumb and weak, ill-informed, unable to grow beyond their conditioning, that they fall prey to the structures built by the other half?
We have a tendancy to fall into the patriarchal shadow of being victims to the male gender that somehow founded the patriarchy while we were looking the other way. But let’s look a little more closely.
Behind every great man is a great woman
We’ve been spending years exploring the shadows of and between men and women, and have come to the conclusion that where men have taken great power in physical, political and economical spheres, women have moved into much more subtle spaces.
Every women knows instantly and intuitively what I’m talking about. And in our cultural circles it’s well-known that women slip more often than men into competition, bitchiness, backstabbing, manipulation and bullying. The harmful stereotypes have a root in some truth.
It’s true that the patriarchy has endowed benefits on the male gender at the same time as diminishing the female light, but as women were unable to compete in the obvious and open realms of power, we slipped onto sublter battlefields. What we see for manipulative word-warfare in parliament is childsplay compared to the subtle tones, inclinations and undermining activity of the feminine shadow.
- How often are you „there“ for someone when you actually are seeking comfort yourself? Using their vulnerability to hide your own insecurity?
- How often do you ask how your partner feels because your own fear and paranoia or low self-worth convinces you that their mood is all about you?
- How easy is it for you to make a conflict your partner’s fault or responsibility? How often do you „win“ the fight?
- How often do you position yourself in the subconscious hierarchy by giving advice, sharing about your own extensive experience of something or even simply witholding information or support that might truly help your fellow light warrioress or warrior to shine?
- How often do you share your appreciation for your male companions and friends in comparison to noting their faults?
- How often do you compliment female friends or build connection through complaining about men?
- How often do you use insincere compliments or conversations as a means to a different end? To build connection? To collect friendship points?
- How often do you exclude or indeed include particular friends in your life in order to keep control or to maintain a standing in a social hierarchy?
- And how quickly did you skim this list? How much do you really honestly look at these patterns?
Empowering the feminine means stepping out of the shadows and into the light. Leaving the comfort zones of manipulation, irresponsible fear, and control and opening up with all of our vulnerabilities to allow ourselves to really be loved in ALL that we are. Not letting our self-worth issues keep us in masks and mistruths. Choosing authenticity, truth and love every day and in every moment.
Leuchtende Kriegerin wishes you an empowering, loving and authentic new year as we step out of the darkness and into the light. Today is the day that the light comes in.